Passing Wealth to the Next Generation

How to Talk to Aging Parents About Estate Planning

Your parents say everything is taken care of. Here is how to find out what that means, before a health crisis forces the conversation.

By Sami Majdalani, M.A. (Econ.), LLQP · Eagle Wealth Partners · 5 min read

“Everything is taken care of.”

It is a reassuring sentence, until you realize you do not know what it means.

Do your parents have a current plan? Who knows where the documents are? Has anyone discussed the family business, the cottage or how expenses would be paid during a difficult transition?

For many adult children in Ontario, the hardest part of estate planning is raising the subject. You want to help your parents prepare. They may hear a question about their independence, or your inheritance.

A better conversation begins with their wishes.

The short answer

Start with your parents’ wishes, not their money. Ask what they most want protected, where the important documents are and who has agreed to act for them. Confirm that powers of attorney for property and personal care are in place. Aim for one useful conversation and an agreed next step, not a finished plan in one afternoon.

Begin with what matters to them

Imagine a family finishing Sunday lunch. Their father mentions that he wants the cottage to stay in the family. His daughter wonders who will pay for it. Her brother assumes they will share it equally. Neither wants to spoil the afternoon.

This is an illustrative situation, but the hesitation is familiar. A promise can create expectations long before anyone discusses the practical arrangements.

Start with a question that gives your parents room to explain: “What would you most want us to protect if something happened to you?”

Their answer might be a spouse’s security, a business they built or a place where grandchildren gather. Let that answer guide the conversation.

Ask about readiness before asking about amounts

You do not need a full financial disclosure at the first meeting. You need to understand whether the family knows how to respond.

Useful starting questions include:

Where are the important documents kept, and who should contact the advisers?
Have the people named to take on responsibilities agreed to do so?
Have your wishes changed since the plan was last reviewed?
Are there decisions about the business or cottage you would prefer to explain yourself?

A parent may be comfortable sharing a lawyer’s contact details before sharing account balances. Respect that boundary. Build clarity gradually.

What happens if a parent can no longer decide?

Families often discuss what happens after death while overlooking a prolonged illness or a loss of decision-making ability.

Who would coordinate care? Who would manage financial matters? Would someone need to reduce their work hours to help?

Ontario has separate powers of attorney for property and for personal care. They cover different decisions. A lawyer can explain the right documents, their scope and when they apply. The Ontario government provides an overview in its power of attorney guidance.

What’s at stake

Without a power of attorney for property, no one in the family has automatic authority over a parent’s finances, not even a spouse. A relative must apply to the Public Guardian and Trustee or to the court, with a management plan, before they can act. That takes time and money, at the moment the family can least afford either.

The family also needs a practical picture of available money. Knowing that a parent owns valuable assets does not tell you which funds could be accessed, by whom or how quickly. Ask the relevant advisers to clarify that picture.

Make room for different expectations

One child may want the cottage. Another may prefer financial flexibility. One may work in the family business while another has built a career elsewhere.

Do not assume that silence means agreement.

Parents can explain the reasons behind their wishes while they are still able to participate. Children can ask questions before uncertainty turns into resentment. A structured family meeting with the appropriate advisers may help when the conversation feels too sensitive to manage alone.

If the cottage is part of the picture, the stakes are real.

$286,000

Estimated tax and probate on a cottage bought for $300,000 and now worth $1.3 million, due before the children inherit it. Based on 2026 top Ontario rates and Ontario estate administration tax.

An estate tax exposure assessment puts a real number on it for your family, while there is still time to plan for it.

Three questions to take into your next conversation

What do you most want us to understand about your wishes?

If you needed help tomorrow, would we know whom to call and what to do?

Is there anything we should discuss together while there is time to make choices?

You do not have to resolve the entire estate in one afternoon. Aim for one useful conversation and an agreed next step.

Frequently asked questions

When should I talk to my parents about estate planning?

Before a health event forces it. The best time is while both parents can take a full part in the conversation, such as a holiday gathering, a retirement, the sale of a business or the arrival of a grandchild.

What happens in Ontario if a parent loses capacity without a power of attorney?

No family member automatically gains authority over their finances, not even a spouse. A relative must apply to the Office of the Public Guardian and Trustee or to the Superior Court of Justice to become guardian of property, and submit a management plan. That process takes time and money.

What documents should my parents have in place?

At minimum, a current will, a continuing power of attorney for property and a power of attorney for personal care. The family should also know where the originals are kept and how to reach the lawyer, accountant and insurance adviser. A lawyer can confirm what is appropriate.

Do I need to know how much my parents are worth?

Not at first. Start with readiness: who to call, where the documents are and who has agreed to act. Amounts can come later, often through your parents’ advisers.

What taxes are due when a parent dies in Ontario?

At death, most assets are treated as sold at fair market value. Gains on a cottage, investments or private company shares are taxed on the final return unless they pass to a surviving spouse, and RRSPs and RRIFs are generally fully taxable on the same basis. Ontario also charges estate administration tax of $15 per $1,000 of estate value above $50,000 on assets that go through probate.

The easiest time to have this conversation is before you need to.

At Eagle Wealth Partners, I help Ontario families identify financial exposure and prepare for transitions, working alongside their legal and accounting advisers where needed. If your family has been avoiding this conversation, let’s talk about where to begin.

Important information

This article is for general information only and does not constitute personalized financial, investment, legal or tax advice. Before making changes to your estate plan, asset ownership or beneficiary designations, consult your lawyer, accountant and appropriately licensed financial or insurance advisor. The right approach depends on your circumstances and the laws and tax rules in effect at the time.